Are we all slowly bending,
bowing, dying ?
In the name of passion,
love, loyalty?

I feel myself fading



Disappointments are inevitable. Disappointments are imminent.

Hide Away

It’s easy to hide behind ‘relatable’. You’re always caring, it’s never about you. It’s easy to step away from the light, it’s easy to keep out of the light, it’s easy to be kept away. Tucked in a pocket you don’t reach for, till you need something.

You’ve got a warm heart
You’ve got a beautiful brain
But it’s disintegrating

From all the medicine

Remedies that don’t work anymore. What you were, what you used to be, what you wanted to be, for that specific point in time, for that place you were in. But it’s a different time and place now, it’s time to let go and to – build a new you. If it’s hard to be you, don’t give up. Don’t give up and you’ll be fine. That’s what everyone says and will tell you, and will be what keeps you mad, but sane.

Look at the foliage of trees up ahead. It’s a jungle, trimmed by nature, and the little itsy bitsy creatures you can’t see yet. You will get cut, you will falter and slip. You will lose your way. But you’ll be among trees. You won’t be alone here looking on. So step in, into the warmth of alienation, the comfort of the wilderness.



It was aching
I couldn’t breathe
I had to
hold my breath
But I could only
last so long

I gasped
I sputtered
I tripped
I had to go down
But I couldn’t
get back up

So I got myself a shell
So I could go around
So I could still always
have a place to rest
and retreat into
But still be present
I hide behind the paint
on my shell
Paint my story



Somewhere, sometime, I feel like it broke and drifted away. But I never did realise, the precise moment it left. It was always hanging by a thin thread though, I suppose if I do look back now. I think some halves are better off this way anyway.


If someone asks if I am sad, I can’t say yes I am, because I am not. But if someone asks if I am happy, I can’t say yes too. Feelings aren’t just about opposites. It’s a spectrum, and I’m somewhere on it.